


And when we fall, I'll be missing you

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012, Angst, Breakup, Fluff, Fluffy Angst, Getting Back Together, I cried while writing this, M/M, Making Out, just to let you know, reflecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4518489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're both tired of being apart, but have no idea how they're supposed to fix each other up again</p>
            </blockquote>





	And when we fall, I'll be missing you

Dan once told him, “Phil, wherever you go, I’m coming with you. I wanna stick with you forever.” But that was ages ago, when their love was young and they were so lost in it they would make promises like that they knew they couldn’t keep.

They were young as well and all that mattered was what was here in the now and neither of them predicted that everything would end up this way. How could they? The two of them were too busy whispering sweet nothings under the covers at three am and doing whatever people did when they were in love.

Phil can’t quite tell if Dan loves him anymore.

They’ve both fallen and are taking each other along for the ride.

It doesn’t seem possible, the distance that’s grown between them even when they’re sitting mere feet away from each other in the lounge, but that space is filled with a cold feeling that seeps into Phil’s bones. Not even Dan’s old uni hoodie, which used to be the only thing he needed to feel warm on the coldest of winter nights, can’t even shield him from the coldness he feels inside.

Eventually the cold overtakes everything and Phil just feels numb. The aching in his chest he would feel, the tugging of all the little heart-strings every time he looked at younger brunette is gone.

Feeling anything at all right now would be better than this.

It’s exhausting living like this. The tension between the two, whenever they do anything is almost unbearable.

What’s even worse is remembering all that they used to have.

They used to smile at even the smallest thought of the other and they would fill the flat with the sound of their laughter and endless conversations. Everything is quiet now.

Phil can remember a time when the two of them seemed inseparable. They were just so close, physically. Legs tangled together on the couch, pinkies linked while passing through a shop, arms brushing as they walked into the city on a day where they had particularly little do do. Phil can’t even remember the last time they just stayed in the same room with the other for more than twenty minutes.

He could still remember how happy he was just talking to Dan that first time over Skype. They’d sat and just stared at the other’s face through the pixely screen, smiling at the fact that this person was real. And then they met at the train station and Dan hugged Phil like he was his everything, and maybe he was three years ago. He sure as hell isn’t right now.

He’s not worrying if Dan likes him back or not now, he’s worrying if they’ll ever be able to go back to what they had before, if they’ll be able to fix things.

 

* * *

 

It hurts to look at the way they are.

Dan want’s to fix it, he wants to kiss it all better, but most of all, he just wants his Phil back.

He’s tired of sleeping alone, and pretending that there isn’t someone else in the flat. He’s tired of just not being with Phil.

He wants to actually talk to Phil again, he wants to get lost in a conversation and laugh until he can’t breathe, and just get all the weight off his shoulders by talking about everything that’s going on. Everything with uni, and dropping out, and just the fact that he feels like utter crap.

But instead of just doing that one simple thing, he waits. Dan wants to wait for the perfect moment to bring everything  back together, or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t know what to say anymore.

Dan spends weeks planning what he wants to say, it’s just how he is. He doesn’t want to mess anything up and make things worse between them. But, after all his planning, it’s Phil who actually finds the guts to talk to him again.

They’re both in the lounge; both of them are sitting on the same couch, and that’s an improvement.

Dan was just aimlessly scrolling around on his computer when Phil suggests a movie. He’s nothing better to do, so Dan agrees and they both settle in, in their own respective corners of the couch of course.

Dan doesn’t pay much attention to the film though. He’s too caught up in staring across the couch at his flatmate, all his planned speeches running through his head at a mile-a-minute.

_“So, um Phil,”_

_“I was thinking,”_

_“Hey, Phil,”_

_“Yo, Phil, so I was,”_

“Hey Dan?”

Dan almost has a heart attack. He was so zoned out trying to figure out what to say, and now Phil’s talking? He didn’t plan for this he did- “You know the movie’s been over for a bit, Dan, aren’t you going to head into bed?”

“Oh, I was, I was just going to,” words are just flying off of his tongue, and Dan has no idea what he’s saying anymore. “I missed you,” he whispers, scooching over on the couch, so that he’s sitting next to Phil.

“You what?”

Dan doesn’t hear him though, he’s too busy trying to rationalize with himself that what he’s about to do is reasonable as he leans in, pecking the other on the corner of his mouth. Phil tenses in surprise, and then shifts closer, leaning in more as he loops his arms around Dan’s neck, pulling him closer.

And Dan’s hands are grabbing at Phil’s hair, fingers tangled in the black strands. He gently bites down on the older boy’s lip and he opens up, deepening the kiss.

But Dan still isn’t close enough. He pulls away for a second, to pull himself onto Phil’s lap and leans down again, continuing the kiss. It’s been so long since they last did this, since they last did anything together, and he’s loving every minute of it.

He can feel the other’s heartbeat, and Phil’s heart is pounding hard and fast, like he’s on a rollercoaster. Dan practically melts when he feels Phil glide his tongue over his teeth and then pulls away.

Almost immediately, Dan buries his head in the crook of the ebony haired man’s neck and wraps his arms around his waist, breathing against his neck, “I’ve missed you so much,”

* * *

 

Phil shivers when he feels Dan’s breath on his neck, and he tilts his head down again, laying soft kisses to the younger’s neck and smiles as he tightens his hold on his waist. Dan was always so sensitive on his neck. “I’ve missed you too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> i legit cried while writing this, well, its also 2:30 in the morning and angst always manages to get me, but you know.. and of course there's references to 2009, I mean have you not read any of my works before?


End file.
